PUT ME DOWN! *struggles against the red haired molester* Put me down, you bastard! *kicks Die in the balls*
Itai !!!!!
No loving for you tonight, baka!
*Die looks at Shinya, whimpering* My Big Red hurts...
Oooh...my poor baby...you want me to blow the boo-boo away? *wink wink*
*smirk* yeah, I need you to BLOW my boo-boo away...why not now?
*giggle giggle*
[Shinya, the nasty little bugger. Wait, isn't that Hide-chan-sama in the background, peeping? Whatever]
*puts on suffering Kaoru-mama face as he pays for groceries* Really, Kyo, I was hoping being in a famous rock band would teach you a thing or two about being in a compromising position. At least that guy didn't recognize us. *suddenly, several females in the store shriek in his direction* ...Uh-oh. Let's go. And Kyo, No More Nutella for you, young man.
*walks out of store munching on hotdog* Listen, let's ask Yoshiki-san for lots of cake for Die. He'll be loud and mopey when we get home. And he did agree to babysit Hide-saAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WHERE'S THE CAR!!! WHERE'S SHINYA!!! DIE'S GONNA KILL US!!!
[Kaoru, who is so dead]
*Runs toward the rundown building.* FVZZZZ BRUOMNNN (WEEEE!!! WOMEN!!!) *Pushes the door open*
… The moonlight bleeds in through broken windows and cracks on the wall. It made the dust shimmer on the forgotten floor. The life in the outside world did not reach them. Here there is only silence, memories and shadows.
… *Lifts stocking over mouth* AH BOOOOOO!!!*Stomps small foot* Where are the GIRLS???!!! And all the lights? And Freddie the manager isn’t here to greet ME! BOOOOOO!!! I HATE PUB69! BOOOOOO!!!
Die-kun, What are we going to do? There is no show! NO girls prancing around in red stockings calling me "Big Daddy".
BOO!!! BOO!!! BOO!!!
[Hide-chan-sama, continued on disturbing the peace.]
*wriggles unbelievably long fingers gleefully over Shinya's nice, creamy white legs* FUN!!!
Eh, Hide-chan, are you sure PUB69 is still in commission? *looks up at dilapidated old building* *shrugs* Who cares!!! *puts on nice red stockings over face.... then the fishnets on the legs*
*hoists shinya over shoulders* ddddzzzfff (Iku zo!!!)
[Die, with a wriggling (kicking and screaming) Shinya in tow... and holding the nice legs]
...
...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Shinya, caught in the nightmare of being harassed by giant red mushrooms in the jungle.]
Meanwhile in the car our heroes are happily putting on the red stockings *for* Shinya. STOP TOUCHING HER THAT WAY DIE!!! *Pouts and envys Die's big hands* I SAID STOP IT!!! It's my turn. *Feels Shinya's soft skin with cottony hands* Wow.
... 10 minutes later our heroes are finally driving down the road to PUB 69
Are you sure you know the way? *Sits patiently as the driver continues on speeding down the road.* Do you really know a short cut? *Waits some more* We're in a residential area. *Die makes and left turn and stops at PUB69.* Wow. You do know a short cut.
WE'RE HERE!!! *Jumps up and down* Remember let me do all the talking. I know the manager. She's a fan. *Pulls out another pair of stockings and hands it to Die* Put this on too. *Takes out another pair and puts one over his head.
Muffff muffff muffff. (I'm so sexy) Mwufff gwuffff iwiffff. (Lets go Die-kun)
[Hide-chan-sama, looking like an idiotic (but very cute) red burglar]
*arms full of jumbo hotdogs with chili bacon mustard cheese topping, and beer* Kyo-kun? Totchi? Where'd you go? *spots Kyo biting a storeclerk* Oh, fuck! Kyo!
*puts on nifty shades and totters over to store clerk* ...ahemahemahem... *in high-pitched Kaoru-mama(tm) voice* Oh, mister, you've found my poor sick baby! Oh, you brave brave man! I could kiss you, yes come along Tooru-chan you gave the poor man quite a fright. Yes, I think you should get rabies shots anyway. *grabs Toshiya's arm* Darling, didn't you notice our baby was lost? Don't stand there gaping like a fish, here, bring my hotdogs.
What are you staring at, mister? *flashes salesclerk an Almighty Leader Kaoru-sama Glare(tm)* I'm a woman!
[And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to -- KAORU!!!]
*spots the BIG RED vehicle of LOVE gunning for them in the distance*
*grins maniacally*
Hide-chan, we're saaaaved!!! Kaoru-kun loves us after all! *gets all giggly and annoying while hide-chan bounces on top of his shoe*
*grabs hide-chan and makes a run for it, just as Kaoru, Kyo and Totchi leave the car and enter the minimart* Hey, why're they all leaving us? Don't they love us? *teary-eyed and all pathetic about everything*
Wait a minute! Shinya's still in there! Hide-chan we're totally in luck! Shin-chan still loves us and he'll probably go with us!!!! (Who needs pissy Kaoru anyway, he stole my car! *mumble mumble*)
[Die, WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!]
*nudges Kyo at the back*
...Kyo's not responding...
Kyo...let's get out of here...
...and he's just not responding.
K, fine!
*smiles at the store clerk standing in front of them*
I don't know him. You can take him with you.
(kyo, you asked for it. It's not my fault)
*watches store clerk drags Kyo away* *watches Kyo bite the poor guy* *eew*
Where is Kaoru? A time like this demands for a Kaoru-mama.
[Toshiya, someone to the rescue please...]
*runs inside the store* Hey Totchi, can you see where they keep the jam? *hates being short* No wait, its over there.
*frowns* Strawberry, Grape, and Peanut Butter *opens each one of them, takes a lick and passes jar to Toshiya* Not too sweet, too runny, *makes face* peanuts... *does not notice store clerk heading their way* This is new. *opens jar and tastes* Hmmmmm....
*eyes glaze over*
[Kyo, discovers Nutella]
*Walks out the convenience store hugging a twinkie* Where is Die-kun? *Spots him glued on the pavement staring at something* Die-kun, how will we get to Pub69?
...
He's not minding me!!! *Waves twinkie in the air* HELLO! *Jumps up and down* DIE-KUN WE NEED TRANSPORTATION! *Jumps around while waving twinkie in the air* PUB69 is WAITING AND DON'T FORGET THE STOCKINGS.
*Pant* *Pant* *Pant* It's Red Sizzler tonight. *Sits down on Die's shoe* You need to wear something red to get in for free. *Smiles* I like red.
...
He is still not minding me?! What are you looking at? *Looks up and stares*
Wait a minute *Squints at the car and concentrates*
I know that car. *Looks up at Die* YOU OWN THAT. *Stands up and points* THAT'S YOUR CAR!
WEEEE!!!! *Jumps for joy* A FREE RIDE!!!
PUB69 HERE WE COME!
[Hide-chan-sama, runs towards the vehicle of LOVE]
*feels Kyo nudging his shoulder* Okay, okay. No biting, please. I'm kinda hungry too. *spots a convenience store, parks car* Well, we might as well buy stuff for the house. I have to do my laundry tomorrow. *vaguely sniffs shirt, which is on its third wear tonight*
*turns to backseat, finds Shinya snoozing against the window* Should we wake him up? He looks so cute, drooling on the glass. *pats Shinya's knobby knee* Oy Shin-chan, keep an eye on the car, okay?
*turns to Toshiya and Kyo, who's run headlong onto store window and is drooling at lemon merengue pies* Let's bring Yoshiki-san a present, guys. You think he likes gourmet instant yakisoba...?
[Kaoru, also needs more thread for mending Hide-sama, and disinfectant for the bathroom]
*crosses aisle* Hmm... I smell burgers...
*picks up bottle of Baileys, looks at Hide-chan, and twinkles* Between the two of us, how many can we finish?
.
.
.
*grins wildly and grabs the first ten bottles, plus two six packs of Budweiser, five cartons of cigarettes, ten rolls of duct tape and about the whole row of assorted cookies, twinkies, and those funny little gummy stuff that look like sperm*
*pays for the items, whistling as Hide-chan shoves in a couple packets of Trojan and several pairs of red lacy stockings to go ("Die-kun better wear this when we get to the club!" -snotty look on felt-covered face-)*
*eyes goggle at stockings* Heeey! Are you sure those things won't hurt my baby???
[Die-kun, jealously guarding his privates]
This is no fun at all! *looks out the window to scowl at the traffic* Oy, Shin-chan, did Die glomp you again? His luck might have rubbed off you or something.
I'm hungry and sleepy and sober, but not any longer. *pokes head out from the backseat* Kaoru, turn us around to the nearest convenience store. We're getting beer *sniff* and cigarettes *stomach growls* and food.
I'll even hold Toshiya's hands off you so you can drive quickly.
[Kyo, yes he did eat that twinkie 20 minutes ago but that *was* twenty minutes ago]
*Kisses Die right on his wet nose* You're going to let me drink BEER! And you're going to take me to the PARTY! *Smiles really wide 'til cheeks hurt*
But Mommy will get mad if he finds out. (Guilty Hide-chan-sama) I don't want her to disown me. Can we go to a strip club instead? *Die nods and places him on the table*
Can we drop by the park first, and play on the swing? And lets go by the grocery too, I'd want some twinkies, fishnet stockings and duck tape.
Take a bath Die (my newest best friend). I'll just wait for you.
[Hide-chan-sama, Looks forward to some male bonding]
*stares down at the nice, clean polyester-filled thing that followed him to the bathroom. Puts down book adaptation of favorite dorama and stares up*
Hello little thing! Are you going to dive into my bath water too? If you wanna take a peepee, go to the other side of the bathroom!
*picks up novel again... and... wait a minute*
Hide-chaaaaaaaan!!!!!!
*Runs out of bathtub dripping and tackles cute, clean, polyester-filled thing to the floor*
Want me to get us BOOZE??? (ok ok, so we can go to the party too... I just want the booze!)
[Die, can smell the booze from far far away... it's calling to me...]
Mommy... *Makes sad puppy eyes* left me to go to a party... *Eyes welling up with tears* with women and beer... *Starts crying* AND ITS MY PARTY!!! Sniff sniff I want to celebrate too. I know it's going to be fun.Sniff sniff*
I'm calling Sugi-chan.Sniff Sniff *Flips through the phonebook* Sugi-chan wouldn't let me down. He'd want to have a few bottles of beer with me. And he'd sing too.Tee-hee *Dials and waits*
*Ring ring* *Ring ring* *Ring ring*
Other line Grumble grumble He-llo? Dare
SUGI-CHAN!!!
Huh??? DARE??? *Obviously pissed*
SUGI-CHAN IT's ME Hid...
BLAAAG *Dial tone*
He banged the phone on me. Mommy must have told him I can't go. Smart Mommy thinks of EVERYTHING.
Mommy will not get away with this. *Pouts and ponders* Hmmmm...
*Looks up at Die-kun, his plushtoysitter and...*
*Smiles sweetly*
[Hide-chan-sama, plans for REVENGE]
Oh dear... He's being just like you. *points to Die, shakes head*
*crouches down to face Hide-sama* Listen, Hide-sama. I really can't take you to the party. *Hide-sama pouts and turns away*
I'm serious. I can't let you get drunk. *Hide-sama reaches for phone book to look up Sugizo's number*
When you're drunk, you look like this-- *digs into wallet and takes out picture of... drunk Die puking on the sidewalk*
Ne, Die-kun? *pats Die-kun's drunkard ass and hies off to party*
[Kaoru, Mommy knows best]
YOU'RE LEAVING ME WITH HIM?! *Points to Die being leashed* I'll be dead again in no time.
Mommy I want to go with YOU.
I won't drink anything. I'll just drink what you drink (which is hopefully beer). I WANT TO GO!
If you won't let me go I'll call Sugizo to pick me up.
[Hide-chan-sama, starts walking away from Mommy]
Mou~! Kaoru-kun my ears just died and that stupid...
stupid...
stupid...
stupid...
(ok, enough already, stupid Totchi)...
STUPID FAT baka stepped on my toe!
Why isn't he locked up yet? *get's Die leash* Die-kun, it's time for bed time. you need to be tied up outside now.
[Toshiya, don't know why everyone's so excited but will be nice and will lock up DIe-kun before he steps on everyone's toe.]
*realization dawns* You... you mean... *giggle* you mean I...
WAAAAAAAAH!!!! I GET TO STAY HOME WITH HIDE-CHAN!!!! I GET TO TALK TO YOU AND GIVE YOU MILK BEFORE YOU GO TO BED AND PAT YOUR SORRY LITTLE FELT-COVERED LEG WHEN YOU START BAWLING ABOUTHOW YOU DIED AND HUG YOU AND TELL YOU YOU'RE MY BEST NEW FRIEND!!!! *bats bright googoo eyes and rubs hands together like the fiend that he is*
*hugs Kaoru-mama for the opportunity* Kaoru-kun, I could kiss you!
[Die, hands covering Big Red but excited anyway!]
*needle slowly descends* Die... you will... *slowly* give me... chocolates... *slowly* of
*Hide-sama screams* Whu--? No, Hide-sama, you can't go to the party either. There's beer there. You'll get drunk! And maybe die! Just like poor real Hide-sama! And I'll be alone again! At least I have a talking stuffed Hide-sama, unlike that freak Sugizo who STILL copies him after all these years, oh why can't a dead person be left alone by his happily dead self, why must he be copied to death by these losers? *grumble grumble I'm going off tangent aren't I*
*grabs clothes off floor and starts to get dressed* Oh, very well. I, the almighty Leader-sama, shall drive Kyo-chan, Totchi and Shin-chan to Yoshiki-san's party. Hide-sama, you stay right here. *places Hide-sama next to inanimate stuffed Hide-sama toys* And if Die tries to kidnap you, grab a baseball bat and whack Big Red. *kiss* Byebye.
[Kaoru, stopped feeling sorry for himself so he can party]
*Hugs Kaoru's thumb* It's ok mommy. Don't worry, you're the best looking mommy in this side of Japan.
Are we still going to the party? Sigh I want beer.
*Holds up the needle for Kauro to see* Sew up my leg so we can go.
Don’t hold the needle like that Mommy! MOMMY! NO!
[Hide-chan-sama, afraid that he would be used as Mommy’s voodoo doll]
*sticks tongue out at Kaoru petulantly* BLEAAAAH! (Die-kun wasn't insulting you, stupid. Poor truthful Die-kun was just pointing out a fact.)
Meanie.
(By the way, when this band started, wasn't it poor, hardworking Die-kun who did all the stupid dirty jobs while you stayed in the apartment and wrote songs? *sigh*)
*moves next to Kyo* Hey, short stuff, share the twinkie.
[Die, all sulky and won't give any chocolates of love]
DING DONGS?! Did somebody say ding dongs!?!?!?!?!?
I love ding dongs! And ho-hos, and chocolate cupcakes and pies! I LOVE PIE!
*turns to Kaoru accusingly* You're withholding junk food, that's why you're sending us off to Yoshiki-san's place.
*slaps Totchi's hands away* Hey, is that a twinkie in your pockets...
[Kyo, hands are going down Kaoru's pants]
*stands up... er, in indignation, dropping Hide-sama to floor* I... am... humble...? Why... How dare you all... *sputters*
*places hands over eyes* I have been insulted. By my own ungrateful bandmates whom I plucked out of obscurity, coddled as my own brothers, gave a roof over their heads, put yakisoba on their plates and gave them a dream. A dream! For is this band not a dream? And yet here they sit, insulting my dear junior, without regard for his tender feelings. *looks up to high heaven* Why, Kami, why???
*absently plucks Hide-sama off floor* I think I'll go to my room now, Mama. Yes, I think I will.
[Kaoru, dejected and forlorn, needs chocolate of love]
*slap Die's dirty finger pointing at Kaoru's little thing...* Don't curse it! Kaoru no Junior not yet grown up!
JUNIOR! UP! UP FOR TOTCHI, YOUR MASTER! (like the magic carpet... *giggle*)
[Toshiya, still holds the scrubber]
Don't mind him Mommy... *Lovingly pats Kaoru's wet hand* Mothers don't need dingdongs the size of a new born puppy. *Smiles sweetly* It's ok that its not a dinosaur. Your dingdong is a humble dingding .
[Hide-chan-sama, hugs Kaoru's thumb (Poor Mommy)]
You-- you----- you mean I CAN'T GO???!!! *wails and screams and stamps on big foot and nearly steps on Shinya's toe* FINE! *stomps off to get wallet and car keys* I have thecar keys, I have the money. No one's getting anywhere without me, and since Kaoru-kun wants me to buy Coke and sit here and mope, everyone can also buy Coke and sit with me and mope and no beer (or you guys can walk and take the train. Nyahaha, I love being the official car-owner!)
(Kami--oh, they're doing it to me again. Just because I'm a little hysterical when things happen! And I do happen to be very much of an adult~! I wasn't the one who trashed the whole place.) * mutter mutter* Hey, Kaoru-kun, did anyone ever tell you that your uh... *points at Kaoru junior* kinda poor?
[Die, all teary-eyed and melodramatic]
All right! All right! That *picks Hide-sama up off the floor* will be *slaps Totchi's hands away* quite *grabs Die's shirt and pulls him back inside the window* enough of that!!!
*panting, looks arond at the messy apartment* Look at this place! And you call yourselves adults! Die, shut up, Shinya's right here. And Kyo! Urgh! (grabs wet paper towel and wipes Kyo's grinning face* Totchi, drive Shinya and Kyo to Yoshiki-san's party. Hide-sama and I will follow. No, Die, you can't go, you'll just get drunk again. Go down to the store and buy us some Coke.
My god, the things I have to put up with. *puts on long-suffering Kaoru-mama face* Come along, Hide-sama, stop whimpering. *pulls out needle and thread to fix up poor Hide-sama's leg* Well, what are you all staring at me for? Get out. Go to your party. *Idiots, can't do a thing right without my telling them, mumble mumble*
[Kaoru, still naked in a messy apartment, sewing up a leg]
AAA! *Screams at the sight of Die's maniac smile and his ridiculously large needle* MOMMY! HELP! FUCK! Hide Think!
Look! *Points out the window* Shinya just jumped out the window! *Suddenly finds himself on the floor*
[Hide-chan-sama, limps towards Mommy's outstretched arms while Die echoes in the background "Shinya! No!"]
HIDE-SAMA!!! NOOOOO--NFFFFF!!! *gets pushed into bubbly water by evil Totchi* Must ... save ... Hide-sama! *tries to struggle out of Totchi's clutches* Ow, you're scrubbing my ass too hard, bitch! *bites Totchi's outstretched hand* Hide-sama! What's wrong?? Answer me!!! Who did it!!?? Which one of you chowderheads hurt my baby??!!! *growl*
[Kaoru, jumping out of the bathtub and sloshing Totchi with water]
In the bathroom....
*pushes Kaoru-baby into the bath tub* you dirty old man, take a bath now! *grabs loofah and whacks the nice lily-white ass sticking out of the bath water.*
I, TOSHIYA OF DIR EN GREY DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO SCRUB THE LIVING GRIME OFF THE PIGPEN OF THE BAND!!!
on guard, advance...LAUNCH!
[Toshiya, advancing menacingly at Kaoru]
*bursts into the room with a pissed-off face* Heeeeeey!!! *pout, whine, growl* What's the idea of having sex here without inviting MEEEE!!!
*slaps Kyo's hands off Shinya's nice legs... grabs Hide-chan* No more playing... Hide-chan is hurt and Kaoru will kill us all (if he ever escapes Toshiya's clutches, that is... I mean it literally... Tsk tsk... man, when is anyone going to invite me to bathe with them...) *mutter mutter*
*Pulls gigantic needle from jeans pocket* Come on Hide-chan, I'm going to fix your nice polyester-filled leg!!!
[Die, sporting a maniacal grin while brandishing the needle...]
*Grinning like an idiot* What soft skin. I like it. It's so creamy and silky and creamy and... *sigh* Perfect
I JUST LOVE LEGS!
*Suddenly feels sharp pains* AAAAAAAAAAA!!! *Sees Kyo's earrings piercing through leg* MOMMY HELP! *Watches polyester slowly come out* MOMMY! I'M BLEEDING! *Looks around for Kao-kao-pao (mommy)* I'M GOING TO DIE! AGAIN! HELP ME! *Looks straight into Kyo's huge eyes* HE'S GOING TO EAT ME!
[Hide-chan-sama, pushes self away from Kyo's face.]
eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! *desperately tries to shake off both hide-chan-sama and Kyo* I am NOT playing!!
*reaches under skirt and grabs hold of hide-chan-sama* Let go of me! *throws wriggling hide-chan-sama* EEK! Kyo, watch out!!!
[Shinya, stares wide-eyed as hide-sama crashes into Kyo's face O___o;]
*hears high pitched scream* How many times do I have to tell you, NO SEX WHILE I'M EATING!!!!!! *looks at half-eaten pie* or at least be quiet about it...
*more screams and louder patter of feet* Is there nothing sacred in this place? *watches as Shinya zoom past him*
Whoa Shin-chan, Die's having that time of the night, eh? *squints closer at the dirty red tuff near Shinya's leg*
HEY! Is that Hide-chan? *grin* Are you playing? *runs after Shinya* Unfair! I wanna play too!
[Kyo, hot on Shinya's high heels]
*passes dirty laundries to Die* *wink wink* Dai-dai, please bring them to the laundromat... Please~ Love you~ *winks even harder*
*walks up to Kaoru* Hey! You! That's not what I meant! *stares at Kaoru's naked chest* this is what I meant.... *drags Kaoru to the bathroom* Hey people, I have to clean this guy up so he won't stink later at Yoshiki-san's place, please excuse us...
*turns to Kaoru* *smirks* heheheh....
[Toshiya,in the mood for love]
*Clings to Shinya's mini for dear life* I'm allergic to detergents mommy. *Swings to grab a thigh* I'll bathe myself. *Admires Shinya's smooth skin*
Long Dramatic Pause *Smirks*
*Starts to climb up* ... sugoi... *Pokes head inside the poor drummer's skirt*
What's that?
[Hide-chan-sama, holds tigthtly as Shinya runs around screaming.]
Why, Totchi, how thoughtful of you! Sure, you can take him to the laundromat. And can you include these-- *starts to take clothes off* And please remember, these pants are dry-clean only. *Hide-sama struggles even harder, whimpering against Kaoru's armpit -- hey, how'd he get in there?*
Are we still going to Yoshiki-san's party? Poor Shin-chan got all dressed up and all. *pulls off shirt, revealing sexy lily-white body with ribs sticking out* What to wear, what to wear... *scratches ass in thought*
*throws clothes into Totchi's outstretched arms* Here you go, Hide-sama, dear Totchi's taking you to the laundromat so you'll get nice and clean. Hey, where'd you go? *finds Hide-sama clinging to Shinya's miniskirt* What's wrong with you?
[Kaoru, naked and puzzled]
*smirk,approaches Kaoru* ei, Kao-kao, won't you mind sending that doll to the laundromat while....I'll clean you up? I don't think you know how to wash that doll... (and even yourself)
please.....
pppllleeeeeeaaaassssseeeeee!
*blink blink*
[Toshiya, always, so nice, so kind, so thoughtful]
*Kicking feet in the air* HELP! HELP! HELP! *Looks around for a way to escape* Think genius, think. I'm not going into some stupid machine.
[Hide-chan-sama, in his panic lets out a small fart]
*scowls at Die* Hmph. What's wrong with looking a bit rugged? I don't stink all the time, do I? *sniffs his own smooth, silky armpit -- yes, KaoKao, you do stink* Well, it's a manly smell. So there. *sticks tongue out at Die*
*car screeches to a halt in front of apartment* Yay, we're here, Hide-sama! I'll just go pop you in the washing machine. And when you're all clean and dry, we can play with my other hide-sama plushies. Fun!
Lalalalalalalala.... *can feel Hide-sama desperately trying to wriggle out of tight grip*
[Kaoru, determined to be a good mommy]
*gasps dramatically, fluttering one hand over his heart while swerving car down a bend* Kaoru, are you sure this is truly you? You're... you're... telling someone to take a bath!!!! *world promptly ends*
*in hushed, quiet, totally awed voice* Oh my God.
*continues speeding down the highway* So can I bathe Hide-chan? *twinkle*
[Die, grinning cheekily and staying clear of the beer-stinking Kaoru]
*glares at Toshiya as they get into car* He is not a stuffed toy! He is Hide-sama and he is my baby! Go play with your own toys, pervert. *rolls eyes as Totchi's eyes start to water* All right, I'm sorry. (Geez, nobody understands me.) Tsk tsk. Don't cry. *reaches into the backseat and gives Totchi a hug*
*stops Hide-sama from sucking beer out of his hand* No, Hide-sama. You're all dirty, you'll get germs. *sits Hide-sama on the cellphone chair on the dashboard* Anyway, Totchi's right, you do need a bath. What are you doing? *shocked as Hide-sama sticks his middle finger out at Toshiya* Don't do that! He blubbers all the time, but he's our Totchi and we love him. Don't we, guys?
[Kaoru, still hugging Totchi with one arm]
*watching everyone walk to the car* But who is drinking beer? Kao-kun is already drunk. Hey, wait for Totchi! *run*
*peek into Kaoru's hand* Why are you still talking to your stufftoy? He's still all wet. Kao-kun, you should really take care of you toys. *Kaoru looks at him in weird way* What? I mean stufftoy ne. Why, you have "other" toys? Why do you never tell me? We can play together. *smile innocently*
[Toshiya, still don't get it but want to play anyway]
*Pokes thumb out and starts sucking beer*
[Hide-chan-sama, sinks comfortably in Kauro's arms]
CLEAN HIM?!?! *outraged* Why wouldn't you want him to smell of beer? *pokes the damp tuff of red hair* He's perfect just the way he is.
*presses his face against Kaoru's hand that wont budge* Yes, we're going home and celebrate your birthday *totally forgets Yoshiki-san's party*, Totchi's going to buy lots of food for us.
*stares at Hide-chan-sama some more and grins happily*
I could just eat you!
[Kyo, means that in a non-leathal way]
*sags with relief* I thought I'd lost you! Don't worry, Mommy's here to make it all better. *chokes, then hugs Hide-sama*
*glares at Die* Excuse me, he is not a pet. He is a little baby and he needs my love and care. *echoes of L'Arc-en-Ciel's "Anata" in the air* Come on, Hide-sama, let's get you home. *smells Hide-sama* You stink. *smells self* Hell, I stink. I wonder how much it'll cost to have you dry-cleaned.
[Kaoru, reaching inside Die's pocket for the car keys]
*Oblivious to the dead guy note* Kao-kao, it's a pet! A real LIVE ROCK STAR PET!!! Can we keep him? Huh? Huh? I wanna make him grow taller! Maybe if I put him in a fungus culture or something? How about we keep him in the bathtub? Kao-kun, can I drive him home? PLEEEEEEAAAAAASE??? *with fluttery bambi eyes and angelic Dai-dai smile*
[Die, wants a new roommate!]
*Blinks once*
*Blinks twice*
BEER??? *Sniffs palm* IT IS BEER! I must have died and gone to heaven.
*Looks around sees Shinya looking down at him, starts to blush* An angel *Looks at Die and the beer* And another dead guy *Looks at Toshiya* A.. errr *Looks at Kyo* And a pet.
*Looks up at Kaoru's worried face, smiles* Mommy?
Mommy, Take me home.
[Hide-chan-sama, smiling happily while smelling the beer from his hand]
*finally approaches hide-sama after being frozen in shock* Oh, my God, hide-sama! Is that really you? *tries to shake dust off hide-sama's clothes* How come you're so... small?
[Shinya, still in disbelief]
Yeaaah, Totchi, you're so mean! *sticks tongue out at Toshiya* Maybe we can revive hide-san with... *Kaoru shrieks his NOOOOOO!!!! one more time but....*
*Douses hide-sama with beer!* Look, he's awake! Told ya.
[Die, grinning like a maniac]
Totchi!!! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *snatches poor little Hide-sama out of Toshiya's huge hands* Hide-sama, speak to me! *administers CPR*
*presses ear against Hide-sama's tiny chest, listening for heartbeat* Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease... *Beep Beep! Beep Beep!* He's okay! Totchi, don't do that! Look at him, unconscious and grimy and cute. *cradles Hide-sama in arms*
[Kaoru, had a very bad scare and is now sober]
*Looking at Toshiya* I hate you
*feels head spinning*
[Hide-sama, passes out from lack of air]
Oooow, Die stop jumping around! You step on my foot! What's that? Hey, Kao-kun, why did you bury your stuff toy in Hide-sama's grave? *picks up little stuff toy and shake off the dirt* It's so dirty! *shake stuff toy some more... viciously* Kaoru I think your plush toy needs to be washed.
[Toshiya, no notice of the evil eye]
*watches Kyo poking hide-sama* Kyaaah! There's a cute little bug talking with our cute little Kyo!!! *gets clobbered by a menacing, Die-eating vocalist* Hey, you guys ever seen a PINK bug? Kaoru-kun, you're TALKING to it too???
*squints down at pink bug* Hey, shorty, do you talk? *poke poke at cottony skin* Heeeeey! I like you, you're soft!!!!
[Die, jumpy, fluttery and excited at the taLking little bug in the ground]
*Struggles to pull self out of the ground* I’m OK! *Spits out clumps of soil* I’m fine *Dust self off* Not to worry *Stretches arms out and looks up* AHHHHHHH! *Screams at the sight of Kaoru's enormous head*
[Hide-sama, twitches nose at the scent of beer... smiles]
*stares at hand poking out of earth* Oh my... hide-sa-- *squints* Oh, my! hide-sama? What small hands you've got. Eh, is it just me? I'm drunk, right, guys? Right? *pokes little hand* Hmm. Soft. Kinda cottony.
*eyes wide open* Hey there, little guy. How did you do that?
[Kaoru, fascinated, and yet...]
*points at the ground* Oh, look at that! *crouches low*
*pokes* Suge. *pokes back*
[Kyo, making first contact]
*pokes hand out of the earth*
[Hide-sama, wriggles fingers in the air]
*pats kaoru's back* There there... (eeew, you're drooling on my shirt... I just washed this!) There there... Poor baby, yes, he's dead... *ground rumbles*
Uh oh... Did i say something wrong?
*flash of light* Eeeek! Help, the grave is moving!!!!
[gay Die, all over the place -_-;;]
*singing* ... ikitai na... pink spider... tsuba-*hic*... Oh, l-*hic* look, there are people. People com-*hic* here. I don't have food. Yooooo... *waves* I don't have food. Gimme *hic* food.
Hey, wait. It's them! Hee-hee-*hic*-hee! hide-sama! It's them. I wanted you to meet them. Hey guys! *gets up unsteadily* *hic* Guys! He's here. hide-sama here. *points to pile of chocolate wrapper near hide-sama's tombstone* hee-hee-hee-h-
*throws arms around Die and weeps* He's dead, isn't he? Isn't he??? I l-*hic*-ove you guys, you're all my babies. *grabs cigarette from Toshiya's mouth and smokes it*
[Kaoru, seriously needs coffee and a cold shower]
He's singing? *snatches cellphone from Totchi* Hello? KAORU! Where are you?! Today's the party for hide-sama and you still go roaming around! Dammit, I'm hungry and I want to see Yoshiki-san... *pauses to listen to, uh, Kaoru's singing* Wait, I think he's drunk... and he's singing hide-sama songs too. Maybe he is at hide-sama's grave! Wow, Die-kun... for once, you're right! *snickers*
[Shinya, getting impatient]
Wow! Die-kun have a good idea! *hands in pocket, following band mates* *feel something inside pocket* Hey wait, why we didn't think of this before? *takes out... CELL PHONE!*
hello hello? Kaoru-kun? Nani?? *shokku!* Guys, Kaoru is SINGING to me! I didn't know he can sing.
[Toshiya, more worried... Kaoru may be sick in the head!]
*taps foot impatiently, thinking* Mou... stupid Kaoru... where the hell is he?! *brain fumes leak out of ears from overexertion* Fuck, I need a smoke. Hey little man! *nudges Kyo* Light? *Gets kicked on the shin* Ow. Jerk.
*thinks some more* Have we looked everywhere? Shin-chan, are you hiding Kaoru under your skirts? How about we ditch him for hide-sama's--wait!
Uh, anyone care to go to visit hide-sama's grave? It's his death anniversary and Kaoru (you perverted fuck, I'm gonna murder you for making us look for you I'm fucking hungry, and I need to get laid soon, not to mention Kyo kicked me because I needed a cigarette while we were looking for you... *rants some more*) might, uh... be there?
[Die, whose brain cells were fried from overexertion]
*two hours later* Oy, we've been to every short-skirt-wearing high school campus in the district. Kaoru's not playing the pervert today. *glares at Die* We're not going to Shibuya. We're going to Yoshiki-san so I can eat.
*mutters* Kaoru no bakero. What's more important than going to a party for your Hide-sama?
[Kyo, instant ramen is not enough!]
*singing* Fifty-fifty... fifty-fifty... How does yer dumb song go? Oy! *kicks stone* Answer me! Fif... *gulps from can* Why are you dead? Talk to me! The band isn't here to talk to me. Stupid band. *takes drag from cigarette* Why'd I ever form that dumb band?
*sits down before stone and sniffles* I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I love them all, even if they're mean. *sniffles some more, takes bite from chocolate bar* Really, I love them. Dai Dai and Kyo-poo and Totchi and Shin-chan... You think they love me too? Oy! hide-sama...!
...you're ugly... *sniffle*
[Kaoru, quite drunk]
(five hours later.)
Die-kun! Motto hayaku neee~! You always take a lot of tim in the bathroom! Yoshiki-san can't be made waiting! *think about poor Kaoru who still hasn't appeared* Maybe we should look for Kao Kao first before going to party...?
[Toshiya, worried where Kaoru is!]
*mutters to self* no one appreciates nice baths anymore. *sigh* Ok, fine fine fine! I'll go buy breakfast. *mutter mutter, stomach growls* You people are sooo lucky I don't feel like dieting today! *mutter mutter* Where's Kaoru when ya need him, huh? Everyone's being mean to me... *mutter mutter*
[Die, too disgruntled to flirt with cashier while paying for instant ramen at convenience store]
*glares at the three annoying men crowding around him* ARRGH!*squeezes, shakes water off apron, pushes Die away* I can clean myself fine, thankyouverymuch. Now, Totchi is right--you should be the one to buy groceries, and try to look for Kaoru too. Totchi, you and Kyo clean up the kitchen instead, and I'll go try to fix myself.
*heads for the bathroom, sighs* Kaoru better be back soon... I don't know how long I can stand these idiots!
[Shinya, has a very bad feeling about this]
*gets off bus and walks through gate, hunched against biting morning breeze*
*searches among rows and rows of stone, finally finds the one he's looking for* Hey. I'm here. I brought you stuff. *lights three sticks of incense and sets them to one side*
*deep in contemplation, silence punctuated only by the rustling of leaves*
Hey, hope you don't mind-- *opens can of beer and drinks* I mean, I've only been doing this since you-- *chokes, sniffles*
[Kaoru, being melodramatic and OOC]
and WHY I'm the one to buy food? *hands on hips... look prim and pissed* I say I bathe Shinya, Dai Dai will go to buy food and walk Kyo... (please put him on a leash or else he will mess the kitchen worse than Shinya...)
I wonder where Kao Kao went...? He is better in leading than this stupid Die-kun...
[Toshiya, will not go out so no breakfast to three lazy bums]
Waaah! Shin-chan you're so wet! What happened to you??? *hides empty water bucket behind self* Anyone seen leader-san? Hm? No?
*assumes self-important air* Well, guess that means eldest gets the best. Totchi, you go buy us food. Kyo-kun will clean up the kitchen... and I get to clean up Shin-chan!!
Come on, people. Today is Kaoru-kun's day! We have to get to the studio before him to help Yoshiki-san! *smirk* Come on, Shin-chan. Die-mama will bathe you this morning. *smirk*
[Die, taking over the absent leader-san]
*On the floor... fell of the bed again* Na? *growl* Ow, light... stupid sun... early morning...
*growl, stomach this time* Breakfast. *heads to the kitchen stumbling every so often* *smells the room and perks up* Mmmmm, ramen... definitely ramen.
*stops at the foot of the kitchen to smile at Die comforting a very wet Shinya over a blackened burner while Toshiya cried with an emptied pail in hand* So, who's picking up the instant ramen at the groceries? I also want some cigs.
[Kyo, knows that its not him]
*yawns* *stretches* *blink-blink* Ohaiyo Totchi...*yaaawn* hmhm...still sleepy...*heading for the bathroom, finds it locked*
*smells something weird* Eeh? *sniff sniff* something got burnt...oh no...not Shinya in the kitchen... he doesn't even know how...
AH~~~
*frawns* too late.......SSHHIINN-CHHANN...Daijobu!?
[Toshiya, off to rescue Shinya from the burning breakfast]
*eyes open wide, sunlight pours in* Morning already? Oh, today's the day! Yoshiki-sama's party! *gets excited at the thought of seeing beloved idol* Whee! I better wear something pretty tonight. And Die better not embarrass me or anything!
*gets changed, walks out of room* Hey, any of you awake? Die...hogging the bathroom as usual. Kyo? Totchi? Leader-sama? *sees Kaoru's door is slightly open* Hmm... *finds room empty* he's not here. That's strange. It's hide-san's day...
Oh, well. *walks to kitchen* Guess I'll be making breakfast for four instead.
[Shinya, terribly happy in the morning, tying on a ruffly pink apron]
*playing with mouthwash in bathroom... gargles over and over until teeth lose enamel and breath smells musty* *smiles that awesome devastating smile of his* GOOD MORNING YOU HOT MAN YOU!
*teeth twinkle in bathroom light* Yoshiki-san is holding a party for hide-san tonight... and YOU (yes you, you sexy man, god I could eat you off the mirror) are going to GET LAID!!!! *twinkle again, wonders about his luck*
I wonder who will sleep with the awesome, sexy, extremely lickable Die-sama tonight...? (Totchi, Shin-chan... or... ugh, not Kyo and Kaoru! *shudder*)
[Die, pulling leather pants over sexy body]
*3 a.m., bedroom is a total mess, with pots of make-up and hair color scattered about*
*looks at inanimate figure of pink-haired doll perched on nightstand*
Well... I'm going off to see you. *kisses doll*
*sob*
*grabs plastic bag full of beer, chocolate and incense and gets out*
[Kaoru, going somewhere, not saying where]
